“You’re the best mommy I could ever ask for.”
When 12-year-old Kylie first spoke those words to Epworth foster mom Jennifer Rule months ago, Jennifer nearly cried. It was, she said, a ‘melt’ moment.
“A melt moment is when we know we’re getting to them and they are getting to us,” Jennifer said.
Along with her younger brothers Connor, 9, and Jack, 6, Kylie has come a long way in the year-and-a-half since the three siblings were placed with Jennifer and her husband, Matt.
“She believed false things – that no one loved her or would want her,” Jennifer said. “This made her very afraid to tell us what she really thought about things because she was so anxious and worried about how we would react. We’ve been able to help her work on that so she is less afraid to speak truthfully to us, and we’ve helped her build up her sense of self value. I’m so glad she came to live with us when she did. I’m afraid that as a teenager, she might have been looking for anything that seemed to provide an ounce of security and affection, even if it was completely fake.”
Before the three siblings moved in with them, Jenn and Matt had already fostered 12 other South Carolina children, some for a few days, others for more than a year.
The couple, both in their early 40s, live in a rural Pee Dee town in a home that sits along a dirt road. Her mom and stepdad live there too, along with an affectionate and playful Chihuahua-Pomeranian mix named Daisy. An uncle lives in waving distance.
It was in this peaceful, family-rich setting that Kylie, Connor and Jack came to live after experiencing a home life where complicated problems kept their parents from being able to provide the care and stability the children needed.
Epworth’s Pee Dee Foster Care Director Shannon Coates has worked closely with the Rules since they became licensed to foster several years ago.
“They are special people,” she said.
“The Rules have never said no when we called to ask if they would take a child,” she said. “They’ve been willing to take children of any age, and because of that, have made a real impact. I’ve seen those three children change so much since they’ve been with them. It is amazing what happens when children feel safe.”
Jennifer and Matt, who have grown children from prior relationships, decided to become foster parents after realizing how acutely they missed the lively chaos, rhythm and sounds of a home filled with children and adolescents. In researching fostering, they were especially saddened by stories of siblings being separated when taken into foster care, so they decided that keeping sibling sets together would be part of their personal mission. They said fostering not only fulfills their yearning for a full and joyful family life, it has also given them a powerful way to live their Christian values.
“We are here to take care of what God loves, right?” Jennifer said. “It’s just like with our own birth families, we’re here to come together as Christians to protect what He loves and ensure that the children He loves have the warmth and comfort that He would want them to have.”
Shannon said that each Christmas, the Rules hang stockings for all the children they have fostered because they see them as “part of their forever family.”
Jennifer and Matt say the keys to their success as foster parents stem from several things. Jennifer said she has found that sincerity and genuineness are crucial to helping children overcome trauma and anxiety.
“Children can feel the love come out of you and they can also feel fear and anxiety, they can feel all of it,” she said. “What you pour out is what they gather. You want them to know that, come what may, we are going to struggle with this together and we will fix this together, no matter if you are here for a day or six years, we’re going to work it out, and you let them know you want them to be here.”
She also said that she has found that calming the oldest child in a sibling group helps the younger children feel safe as well because the younger children look to the oldest for cues.
Epworth staff have also been crucial, Jennifer said.
“I cannot stress enough how much anytime if I have a question, Epworth staff are right there to answer it,” she said. “If I need a resource, they will find it for me. I feel as though they are family too.”
The Rules also focus on exposing the children to new, positive experiences. For instance, the Rules took Kylie, Connor and Jack on their first real vacation – a weeklong cruise.
“The excitement and joy in their faces, they just had a blast,” Jennifer said. “Their eyes still light up when they talk about the day they went on the ship. It was so good, we have already booked another one for 2026.”
The date is a long way off, but Jennifer and Matt are hopeful that the three siblings will still be with them when the time comes. The Rules have become so deeply attached to the three children, and they were overjoyed to learn that they had been freed for adoption. Jennifer and Matt are praying that their petition to adopt will be approved.
